ClassPass Emails

February 24, 2026

These emails…..standard issue clickbait, and they finally got me. The single opened email subject: “You are late.” Well, I am usually late, and I’m always worried about being late. ClassPass preyed on me and all other late people, and I fell into their trap...

The ClassPass siren scam song lures readers into using the free trial. Each email subject line’s tone is a masterclass in balancing guilt-tripping with the reveal of a little-known secret. Additionally, they employ the most stressful possible emojis to make you question why you won’t and haven’t signed up for the free month.

But I’ve signed up for the free month…..many times….I abused this free trial throughout my 20s, taking as many free workout classes as possible. The ClassPass free trial has dragged me to some of the darkest corners of humanity: knockoff SoulCycle classes in the basements of buildings in the Financial District of NYC, and reformer Pilates classes in London, complete with an “Ohm,” a Dua Lipa soundtrack, and shavasana.

But still, confronted with “⚠️🚨⏰😬👀,” I shudder... && question why I am not attending a core power class right now... touché, ClassPass. Looking back through these emails, I have to admit this is an effective and evil showing from ClassPass. And how they got my law school email, I will never know.

Accessibility: Idk, I feel like this is very accessible but maybe only like women of a certain age are being bombarded by these emails??

Would I recommend: no, it really does make me sad to be a constant target of corporate financial extraction attempts. Opening this email genuinely sparked reflection and a more concerted effort towards greater digital security.

Who should you enjoy this with: N/A

This was me: ︎︎

Rating: ︎-