CLOWN REVIEWS BLOG

ALI’S TRINBAGO ROTI SHOP (VEGETARIAN BUSS UP) 

July 10, 2026

 




This week, after visiting family, I started staying in my July sublet, which is a few blocks away from Ali’s Trinbago Roti Shop. When I arrived after my 7-hour train ride from VT, I did not have the energy to make dinner, so I went to Ali’s for my favorite food… doubles. I got two chana doubles, $2 each, and the vegetarian buss up dinner, which was a huge plate of cooked vegetables and probably four people’s worth of paratha, for $14. I was so hungry when I got this food, and it was so delicious. The doubles were solid; they had a good, slightly spicy tamarind sauce, and the chana was super tasty. I still cannot believe that each one costs $2….in this economy!


But the Vegetarian dinner….I expected it to be good, but I was not ready for this level of deliciousness. First of all, the portion!! I ate this for dinner three nights in a row, which is just wild, and each night I was like, okay, there is no way it was that good; I was just really hungry––but it kept being that good every night…. Which leads me to the second and most important point, the food… it came with curried potatoes, chana, pumpkin, cooked spinach, and cabbage, which was maybe slightly pickled? Idk, it had some crunch and was amazing. The vegetables were so good, each cooked perfectly and with distinct flavors. And the bus up shot, or paratha, was just very delicious, fresh, and again a massive portion. The buss up is a fried bread, so it was very oily;  it's not something I could eat every day, but it was so, so good. I would probably get the rice next time and have the buss up for more of a treat.

Overall, I loved this food, and I will be going back. Even though I was eating out of the takeout container, it felt like almost a home-cooked meal. (Trinciti still has the edge on the doubles though....)



Accessibility: Very accessible, so affordable, wow. 

Would I recommend: Highly recommend this place!! It’s amazing, it’s halal, it’s cash-only, and the food comes out super fast.

Who should you enjoy this with: Everyone, and  for your gluten-free friends, they can get the rice instead of the buss up


This was me: ︎︎︎︎︎

Rating: ︎︎︎︎︎
 

12OZ CERAMIC-LINED FELLOW WIDE MOUTH TRAVEL MUG IN MATTE WHITE 

March 24, 2026

Babes, I did know what I had, and then it was gone--the 12oz ceramic-lined Fellow wide mouth travel mug in matte white. I bought this mug because I wanted a travel mug without a plastic lid to avoid microplastics. I’m telling you, it was love at first sip.  ;) This mug keeps things warm for a long time, and I could put tea or coffee in it without any residual flavors or metallic taste. The wide-mouth design also made it perfect for multiple uses, such as beverages, oatmeal transport, and snacks. It even has a sleek sort of egg-shaped look, which I love, and is emphasized by the Matte White color of my mug. The mug also had a nice flat lid, which I put a sticker from my favorite coffee shop on.

There were only two issues with this mug: first, the vacuum seal wasn't perfect, so I couldn’t just throw it in my bag. Second, it is too big for a car cupholder. But, I am not without imperfection, so I do not expect perfection from the people or objects that surround me!!!


Today, I took a break from studying and went to get a cortado and commune with the river... While sitting on my favorite rock, my beloved 12oz ceramic-lined Fellow wide mouth travel mug in matte white (and cortado) fell out of my pocket and floated away. Due to my love for this mug and my guilt about littering, I chased it down. I tried to rescue my Fellow mug with long branches and verbalized pleading to the river. It didn't work. Eventually, I gave up and watched it float away. I waved it goodbye and bought the same exact mug.



Accessibility: Medium, it's a $30 mug, which is not cheap, but I do think very much worth it

Would I recommend: Yes 

Who should you enjoy this with: Anyone who is scared of microplastics and likes to bring their own coffee around

This was me: ︎

Rating: ︎︎︎︎︎

CLASSPASS EMAILS  

February 24, 2026



These emails…..standard issue clickbait, and they finally got me. The single opened email subject: “You are late.” Well, I am usually late, and I’m always worried about being late. ClassPass preyed on me and all other late people, and I fell into their trap...

The ClassPass siren scam song lures readers into using the free trial. Each email subject line’s tone is a masterclass in balancing guilt-tripping with the reveal of a little-known secret. Additionally, they employ the most stressful possible emojis to make you question why you won’t and haven’t signed up for the free month.

But I’ve signed up for the free month…..many times….I abused this free trial throughout my 20s, taking as many free workout classes as possible. The ClassPass free trial has dragged me to some of the darkest corners of humanity: knockoff SoulCycle classes in the basements of buildings in the Financial District of NYC, and reformer Pilates classes in London, complete with an “Ohm,” a Dua Lipa soundtrack, and shavasana. 

But still, confronted with “⚠️🚨⏰😬👀,” I shudder... && question why I am not attending a core power class right now... touché, ClassPass. Looking back through these emails, I have to admit this is an effective and evil showing from ClassPass. And how they got my law school email, I will never know.


Accessibility: Idk, I feel like this is very accessible but maybe only like women of a certain age are being bombarded by these emails??

Would I recommend: no, it really does make me sad to be a constant target of corporate financial extraction attempts. Opening this email genuinely sparked reflection and a more concerted effort towards greater digital security.  

Who should you enjoy this with: N/A

This was me: ︎︎

Rating: ︎-

THE EXPERIENCE OF WORKING AT MY DESK AND WISHING IT WAS SUMMER AND IT WAS EVENING AND IT WAS HOT OUT AND I AM CROSSING THE STREET TO GET TO LEFT-HAND PATH 

February 7, 2026




Sometimes I remember and long for my old life in New York, usually on days when I’m working in the library, and there is no end in sight, and its so cold out, and what I’m doing feels so disconnected from my life. I daydream the feeling of going somewhere. Its like a giant paintbrush covers me in it and I’m there but I'm yearning to be there. Tipsy and smiling in the backseat of an Uber after dinner with Kathleen, on the uptown train writing a birthday card and putting on lip gloss, rushing home to get ready to go out. I squeeze.

Today, my feeling was, summer 2022, getting off my shift from the wine bar in the evening, heading around the corner to another bar to meet someone, it was humid, I loved it. I was about to cross Wycoff Avenue. I wasn’t thinking about where I was going. I just felt satisfied and exhausted, the end of a long day on my feet. The streets are green, the sky is purple, the skyline still barely yellow. There are people out, but I can’t hear them. I’m going to catch up with someone who I love, who is also sticky and hot from a long day. We will talk shit and laugh, resting in understanding. I am looking both ways and thinking about finding a seat at the bar and getting a drink.


Here, it's dark out. The river is frozen. I am sitting. Still headed somewhere I need to go. 


Accessibility: Highly inaccessible, this exact experience is pretty much only available to me, but I’m sure you have a version, I’d love to hear about it. 

Would I recommend: I would recommend this feeling, thinking about a hot summer night on a -3 degree day in VT will warm you up.

Who should you enjoy this with: yourself and your pastself

This was me: ︎.︎

Rating: ︎︎︎︎︎

ROOT BEER & PIZZA

SEPTEMBER 22, 2023



Its Friday night, I’ve had a crazy week, I’m on my way home from an incredible climate panel discussion and I know exactly where I’m headed,, its Tony’s pizza in Bushwick — I’ve got a perfect couple on my mind, root beer && pizza. Though Tony’s doesn’t have my fave kind of pie, square — preferably grandma, they have a pretty solid NY slice so I go for that and the ubiquitous A&W root beer.

The pizza is super cheesy and heavy but the sweetness and slight brightness of the root beer kind of cuts how oily the pizza is. TBH both are kind of mid individually, but together they are fabulous.

Having this perfect pair tn is bringing me back to many Friday nights on my dad’s weekend, when he would would get my siblings & I from my mom’s house && drive us to one of the most iconic Rhode Island pizza institutions, Twin’s in North Providence. The place where my devotion to the root beer pizza pairing began. 

At Twins we always ate in the restaurant, in a booth, in the non smoking section, & ordered the same thing, - a half cheese half pepperoni pizza, medium well done and a pitcher of root beer. The light was low and the dishes they brought to the table were always warm. We would poke at the fake plants and dark wood paneling, we’d draw in my dad’s sketchbook and all over the ad’s on the paper placemats, turning every real estate agent into a vampire. We laughted, talked and attempted stealthiness shooting straw sleeves at eachother.

The pizza was so good, being there felt like belonging. We were going though a lot at that time but the sweetness of the rootbeer helped cut the heaviness of it all.


Accessibility: Very!!! even in NYC this combo cost me only $4, and you can get it anywhere 

Would I recommend: of course…..and furthermore if you ever have the chance to go to twins please do I barely scratched the surface of how amazing and crazy this place is and the pizza is so fucking good

Who should you enjoy this with: Anybody who loves life

This was me: ︎︎

Rating: ︎︎︎︎